I had a kitchen meltdown last night and while during and immediately after I sort of let it get me down, I’m thinking with new perspective this morning.
It was hot. It was my night to cook and other than taking chicken out of the freezer, I didn’t have a plan. I’m trying to be less about planning, more about spontaneity and free spirit. If you know me, or follow this blog at all, you know I don’t do spontaneous well, though I’m embracing it since I’m learning life with a 5 year old little boy has lots of unplanned events in it.
There were many things that led to my meltdown, all of which this morning I can see with clear eyes, are all due to my trying to get everything done at one time. When will I learn that my multitask skills are limited to 2 things at once!?! I was trying to hardboil eggs for my breakfasts, boil pasta for a future meal, make corn on the cob for dinner, grill chicken, clean out the fridge, make a lunch for today, and take care of dishes ALL AT THE SAME TIME. And in doing all this, I also walked out of the kitchen two or three times to put something away, water plants, or sit to talk with Q. I’m a lunatic for thinking I could do it all at once, plus IT WAS HOT and I was already cranky.
The end result was burnt chicken, underdone eggs, boiled over water from corn on the cob that blew out the gas burner and made a yucky mess ( plus the sugary milky water I use for the corn on the cob made some weird emulsion and the corn tasted burnt too). I also never finished making lunch and almost put my hand through a knife. The result was snapping at Q and ordering take out. It was dramatic and I was being ridiculous. After I ate ( it’s entirely possible this madness was all the result of being HANGRY) and cooled off, I realized I made a huge deal out of all these things, for no single reason at all. I was being dramatic calling myself a failure and yelling “what kind of an adult can’t boil an egg?” ( it turns out by the way, a lot of people struggle with this, since Q googled the question to make me laugh and feel better. Love that man).
This morning, I’m laughing at how ridiculous I was and how once again my stubborn nature and desire to be Wonder Woman in the kitchen overtook the practical things of the time which was- it was hot and I should have made a salad. I learned my lesson in keeping it simple and doing one thing at a time before, yet continue to try to outdo myself. It’s perhaps my worst habit and I have a feeling something I know I will always be working on. I’m a glutton for punishment but I also have this part of me that thinks one day I’ll be able to do it and win some multitasking, super kitchen award for awesomeness. That’s only going to come from me, of course, because as Q said last night after I was blabbing on about not being able to provide a decent mail, ” I would have been happy with rice.” ( once again, he’s the best).
As frustrating as it was to not realize these things in the moment and immediately stop the insanity before it escalated, but I’m feeling sort of good about the fact that I’m not sulking about it still today. Kristen a few years ago ( heck, even a year ago) would have let this get her down. I know I need to have more of a plan about making a meal so I don’t feel so frantic, also- it’s only dinner, not serving a buffet for the Queen. The biggest lesson of all though- dinner out on hot nights!