It’s hard to believe my little guy’s been around for 8 months. He’s such a little person of his own with a lovely, charming personality with a determined, and often, stubborn streak (somehow his two stubborn parents made an even more stubborn baby), a lovely smile, and a laugh that I think could warm even the coldest of hearts. He’s a happy baby and watching him discover things every day is a joy I didn’t even think about when considering becoming a parent.
There are remarkable things about being a mom- I’m more productive in an hour of nap time than any other hour of the day, and yet there are days when I’m home all day with Gray that I have no recollection of what actually happened that day because I’m so tired. The exhaustion isn’t the same sort of tired like a full day of work or activity, but a different sort of emotional/mental fatigue that makes me forget there is a load of laundry to fold on the bed, only to be reminded that I never got around to it when all I want to do is plop into the bed.
I didn’t anticipate how much my heart would explode when he pops his head up from the crib every morning when we walk into the room and how excited he gets when I walk in the door from work or even running a quick errand. I also didn’t anticipate how much I would appreciate the quick 15 minute run to the store to grab a few things and the mental space away from the routine of baby ( and to get out of the house).
I definitely knew that routine was important to life with a baby, especially a newborn, but I didn’t realize how much that routine would give me the grounding I needed as a parent (and our family) too. I thought for years that self-care was defined by certain things and that I was doing those every day, but I realize now as a mom caring for other human, that my self-care is THOSE things ( showering every day, fresh clothes, reading every day) and that I’d actually been prioritizing them for years, and now just re-enforcing that.
A lot has changed since baby came, but also a lot hasn’t. We were homebodies before so it’s not like our lifestyle went from lots of dinners and nights out to suddenly having none. A lot of life is the same, just with the added person. Of course, the added person brought lots of stuff ( even though we’ve been pretty minimal!) and has tons of laundry and needs, but his little smile is just so perfect that it makes up for all the extra work!