My word/goal for 2014 was peace.
The month of May is only seven days in and I’m struggling. Have been struggling for the past couple of weeks. Some of it is grief, some of it is work ( well a lot of it is work), and a bit of it is what feels like ( to me) the inability to make plans. I don’t entirely feel like I have a whole lot going on right now or something big to look forward to. Part of me is wondering what the heck I’m supposed to be doing with life.
This, is of course, not true and problematic for a lot of reasons. One is that, of course, I have a million things to look forward ( epic Mother’s Day & May birthday celebration this Sunday with lobster; Memorial Day weekend, aunt/grandma visit, summer, trip to Nova Scotia, etc.) Secondly- I have more things on my list to accomplish than I can even think of- big things like figure out the garage issue ( leaking roof, nasty inside, possibly listing to the side!) and small-ish things like trying to find curtains for the sunroom.
The answers here are to stop worrying and just do things, one at a time, figure life out as it happens everyday, but I feel…unsettled.
You are feeling unsettled because as hard as you want things to stay the same as when Dad was alive you know they can ‘t and life is moving forward.But that is what Dad wanted, to have love move life forward.That should give you peace just as it had given me acceptance as my life moves forward. We will always love him with our entire being and that love will allow us to live our lives.The greatest honor we can give him is to live our lives fully.Be at peace with love and acceptance my love, my baby girl.