Finding My Om
One of 2014 goals was to do more yoga. I’ve been an infrequent participant of yoga since classes in grad school — most of my practice consisted of random usage of yoga DVD in my basement and stretching on the living room floor watching TV. In my quest for peace in 2014, I wanted to feel stronger, healthier, and more confident about my body. I also realized after my Dad died that I inherited his case of worrying and definitely wanted to get that nipped in the bud ASAP. So when I saw that my town’s recreation department was doing an 8 week class on Monday nights for only $50 this spring, I barely gave it a second thought, which is pretty rare for me who agonizes over where every dollar is spent.
There were many signs I needed this and one of the biggest is that in anticipation of the first class, I did very little of my anxiety/nervous filled thinking that often comes with trying something new/going someplace different. The location is just minutes from my house ( I could walk there) and in a location I know( even so Q and I did a walk- by a couple of times to scope it out because I’m weird). I didn’t have the usual anxiety over where to park ( this is my often go-to freak out of doing/going somewhere new that often means I’m trying to back out before something even begins). All those things made it feel like a safe, new thing as opposed to something with so many unknowns. But mostly, I think it’s because I knew I needed this. I needed it for health, for life, for sanity.
Seriously, why haven’t I found a yoga class before now? IT IS AMAZING. I’m seriously not a person who looks forward to exercise. I’m a person who looks forward to weekends with a book. But I cannot imagine NOT doing regular yoga in a formal class now. Because it ROCKS. And doing it on a Monday night is probably the best thing ever because it really just makes me feel better about things and ready to face the week ahead ( especially Tuesday, which I have come to think is worse than Mondays, but I digress). It’s one of the highlights of my week, and frankly, my life right now.
I feel better about myself and I feel better about my body. I don’t even know if I’m losing weight with my healthy initiatives, but I really don’t care because I’m feeling so much better. Am I worrying less? A little bit. I think it might always be in my nature to have concern and question things, but I don’t feel stressed and crazed as much. It’s not so much the stretching and breathing that’s making things change ( though releasing tension and focusing is what I find has improved the most), but it’s more that for an hour and fifteen minutes a week I let everything go and just be— and that’s worth so much more than $50 to me to have that calm and peace.