Where To Go From Here
I started this blog a year and a half ago as I was beginning a new single life as a seperated, on my way to being divorced, end of 20s lady. Today I’m divorced, in an amazing relationship, and 30.
And I’m wondering where to go from here.
This blog was part of my building a new life thing- getting into the right frame of mind about who I was/wanted to be, trying to carve a place in the community of blogging to call my own, and mostly to share/document the journey I was on. Somewhere along the line, the posts about my life and what was going on in it started to feel a bit self-indulgent. I’m not sure that anyone other than my aunt and mother read this thing and since I talk to both of them on a regular basis, I wasn’t writing as much. In some ways writing about my life felt a lot like looking at my own belly button- and really who cared that much about what was going on in my head!!?
The other part I’ve struggled a huge deal with is how much of my life to put out into the interwebs. I don’t share a whole lot on facebook ( more about privacy and wanting human connection, not just internet fake connection) and only really post mundane/silly stuff on Twitter. I don’t write about my job, my love life, or that many in-real-life things because people I know, care about, and work with have told me they read this at times, so I’m limited a bit there too. Even if family/friends/coworkers didn’t read it, I’m not sure I would put all my business out there anyway since I’ve never really been so much of that person to begin with.
When I started blogging, it was with Stratejoy and I did it as a catharsis for myself and to try to connect with people who were similarly struggling through something. When I was going through my divorce I reached out to as many people as possible who could provide some insights or advice about going through the long, drawn out process- I wanted to blog here about that and provide that same resource for people who may not have been as lucky to have people in their support system as I was.
Writing has always been something that I have enjoyed for myself and writing about life is definitely something I’ve come to enjoy more in the past two years as I’ve worked my way through a struggle. I feel I’m in a time of transition again in life- this time thinking about building something new and starting fresh which is definitely ripe with emotions and deep thinking, but this time around, I’m feeling very hesitant about documenting that experience for the entire world to see. I feel protective of my love, my family, my coworkers, and so on, but I want to continue to ‘write myself into life’ as I have done before. I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like– maybe it’s not in such a public place, maybe it’s a protected blog or just something I put out there to a small group of people, or maybe I just scrap it all and put a bow on the blogging experience all together.