I saw this quote the other day on Pinterest and it spoke to me in about a million different ways.
I lead a relatively quiet, uneventful life. I go to work, come home, go for walks, make dinners, read, watch movies, spend time with my loved ones, and so on. The weekends are spent in a mixture of errands, relaxing, family/friend/boyfriend time, and house projects. There isn’t anything terribly thrilling or adventurous about my existence.
On another blog, I read this quote:
“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.” –Nora Ephron, You’ve Got Mail
It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot on lately too– am I who I am because I was not brave or impulsive enough to make a big move, job change, or take on a huge adventure? Did I take the easy, no fear route of staying in my local comfort zone and live a life/take a career that wouldn’t have any surprises in store?
It’s easy for an outsider to look at my circumstances and think they are boring- for many people the thought of being a homeowner who has been in a job for almost 5 years is the exact definition of a bad life.
But for me it’s not.
My years dating and married were spent running around a lot- every weekend there were friends to meet up with, parties to go to, and various social responsibilities to attend to. It was exhausting. As an introvert with extroverted qualities, I’m a bit of a homebody who needs the down time of relaxing with a good book or just a glass of wine. It’s who I am– not the running around, being all the time person. I do the social hobnob enough at work that when it comes to my life I want some quiet, some sweatpants, and some time to enjoy the breeze or whatever it might be.
My divorce– like any great life struggle/disruption– taught me a lot about myself and the world around me, but if anything, it made me realize it takes a certain strength and grace to be able to enjoy a quiet night at home, especially alone with one’s thoughts. Having a calm life doesn’t mean it’s mundane, boring, or routine ( though that can happen at times as I know from experience). The calm life is not without it’s fair share of brave moments and adventures, it just means that those great moments of excitement and enthusiasm come with even more emotion and anticipation because they rise above the regular aspects of everyday life.
I’m happy with my calm life- my stress levels are far lower, my anxiety filled moments are few and far between, and it has allowed me to see the beauty and wonder of small moments in life in new ways– the joy of an afternoon weekend nap, the excitement at starting a new book, the peaceful feeling of spending a whole night in conversation with my man without a single distraction. A calm life is filled with gratitude and grace- and the bravery to know that this life has all that you want in it.